Catmas
by RedMoon17
Summary: Christmas cat styl times 2. doesnt really go with Catscratch just about cats plzz read.
1. Catmas

**The Twelve Days of Catmas**

**On the first day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... A carpeted cheaply home-made cat tree. (Feeble attempt by the Big Owner to get me off his bed where I take up most of the space. Sorry, no go.)**

On the second day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Two catnip toys. (They were destroyed within minutes. Next...)

One the third day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Three nuggets of Pounce. (Stingy humans.)(After they went to bed I knocked the can over and ate the rest.)

On the fourth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Four furry mice.  
(Fake, what a disappointment.)

On the fifth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Five small lattice  
balls. (They made such an irritating noise on the hardwood floor the  
Big Owner took them away the next day.)

On the sixth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Six floppy stuffed Beanie Dalmatians. (95 to go. Big whoop.)

On the seventh day of Catmas my human gave to me ... Seven Pet Food  
Covers. (Hold on here, buckaroo. I eat a whole can of that stuff at  
one sitting. Covers suggest I won't be doing that anymore? Over your  
dead body.)

On the eighth day of Catmas my human gave to me ... Eight Hairball  
Toys. (Looks just like the real thing.)

On the ninth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Nine humans  
dancing. (Trying to not step on the fake hairballs.)

On the tenth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Ten balls of  
twine. (Old reliable. Z-z-z. I may knit a noose for the Big Owner.)

On the eleventh day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Eleven minutes  
of scratching. (It's about all the Big Owner can handle before  
strands of hair fly up into his nose and make him sneeze all over me.)

On the twelfth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Twelve human  
hugs and kisses. It makes up for all the rest.

**The Twelve Days of Christmas**

**On the first day of Christmas when I brought home my tree  
My 12 cats were laughing at me**

On the second day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the third day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the fourth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the fifth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the sixth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the seventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the eighth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the ninth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
9 chewed-through light strings  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the tenth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
10 tinsel hairballs  
9 chewed-through light strings  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
11 broken branches  
10 tinsel hairballs  
9 chewed-through light strings  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the twelfth day of Christmas I looked at my poor tree  
12 cats a-climbing  
11 broken branches  
10 tinsel hairballs  
9 chewed-through light strings  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me


	2. Catmas2

**The Twelve Days of Christmas**

**On the first day of Christmas when I brought home my tree  
My 12 cats were laughing at me**

On the second day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the third day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the fourth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the fifth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the sixth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the seventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the eighth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the ninth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
9 chewed-through light strings  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the tenth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
10 tinsel hairballs  
9 chewed-through light strings  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree  
11 broken branches  
10 tinsel hairballs  
9 chewed-through light strings  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the twelfth day of Christmas I looked at my poor tree  
12 cats a-climbing  
11 broken branches  
10 tinsel hairballs  
9 chewed-through light strings  
8 shattered ornaments  
7 half-dead rodents  
6 fallen angels  
5 shredded gifts  
4 males a-spraying  
3 missing Wise Men  
2 mangled garlands  
and my 12 cats laughing at me


End file.
